Apple Soon to Be Worth ONE TRILLION Dollars? What Could You Buy with That Kind of Cash?

Word around the water cooler says that Apple could soon reach a market cap of $1 TRILLION. Holy Harvard, Batman! That might seem like a weird phrase, but it does actually exist, and it’s great for pissing off the clown who sits next to me at the office who went to Tufts.

Anywho, back to the point — One. Trillion. Dollars. That’s a lot of quiche. Just imagine what you could do with that much money…or don’t, because we’ve already done all the imagining you could possibly want to do. Take a gander:


43,859,649,123 Chia Pets

Have fun watching them grow!


100,000,000 Segway + Google Glass Combos

Our magic recipe for being the least popular person wherever you go.


An extremely generous purchase price for the NYOP Game Design Bundle

In our defense, this is a pretty awesome bundle. Plus, that would be one lucky charity getting a fat $100,000,000,000 check.


141,043,723,554 containers of Sriracha

Our advice would be to cut back on that order and put some funds towards relieving the searing pain in your abdomen.

Aircraft Carrier

A fleet of 78 aircraft carriers

Because, ya know, 79 would just be ostentatious.

Magic Grow

209,205,020,921 Magic Grow Dinosaur Capsules

If this doesn’t excite you, go away.

Selfie Kit

40,080,160,321 of our Must-Have Selfie Kits

You know you want to…come on. Come onnnnnnnnnnnn.

Do it.

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