Word around the water cooler says that Apple could soon reach a market cap of $1 TRILLION. Holy Harvard, Batman! That might seem like a weird phrase, but it does actually exist, and it’s great for pissing off the clown who sits next to me at the office who went to Tufts.
Anywho, back to the point — One. Trillion. Dollars. That’s a lot of quiche. Just imagine what you could do with that much money…or don’t, because we’ve already done all the imagining you could possibly want to do. Take a gander:
43,859,649,123 Chia Pets
Have fun watching them grow!
100,000,000 Segway + Google Glass Combos
Our magic recipe for being the least popular person wherever you go.
An extremely generous purchase price for the NYOP Game Design Bundle
In our defense, this is a pretty awesome bundle. Plus, that would be one lucky charity getting a fat $100,000,000,000 check.
141,043,723,554 containers of Sriracha
Our advice would be to cut back on that order and put some funds towards relieving the searing pain in your abdomen.
A fleet of 78 aircraft carriers
Because, ya know, 79 would just be ostentatious.
209,205,020,921 Magic Grow Dinosaur Capsules
If this doesn’t excite you, go away.
40,080,160,321 of our Must-Have Selfie Kits
You know you want to…come on. Come onnnnnnnnnnnn.