Happy Hump Day, Stackers! I hope you’re getting ready to fill your bellies full of turkey and pie…and amazing deals. We’ve just launched an absolute doozy — The Name Your Own Price Must-Have Mac Bundle ft. Typinator. I’ve been excited for this one ever since I heard we were going to launch it. So excited, in fact, that I decided to test the “name your own price” model at various stores in sunny LA (home of the StackShack).
The result? Several unamused restaurant and retail employees, and a lifetime ban from a local Chipotle. Here are some highlights:
Best Buy — no, you can’t name your price on a new TV
First stop on my trip was my favorite big blue electronics giant. My current TV is good enough, but I’m an American — “good enough” isn’t actually good enough. Go big or go home.
I stroll through the sliding doors and make my way towards the TV section in the back, dodging Time Warner Cable reps along the way. I gaze in wonder at the glowing screens in front of me, making my way down the row, with each TV bigger than the last. Within a minute or two, a Best Buy employee approaches me and asks if I need any help. Help? Puh-leez. This ain’t my first rodeo, guy. I tell him I already know what I want — a 55″ Sony 4K UHD TV. This is where the conversation takes an interesting turn.
“If you’d like to check out now, I can take care of you over here,” Mr. Best Buy said.
“Hold on a minute, buddy. There’s a lot we still need to talk about,” I informed the Blue-Shirted One.
“What do you want to discuss?”
“I’d like to name my own price on the TV.”
“What?”
“Name my own price. StackSocial does it. You should too.”
“What the hell is StackSocial?”
“Whhhaaaaattt, dude??? You’ve never heard of StackSocial? Are you some kind of moron?”
“Please don’t insult me. Are you going to pay for the TV or not?”
“I’ll pay $2.”
“Sir, please leave.”
TGI Friday’s — the appetizers might be endless, but their understanding of innovative sales formats is not
Is there anything more American than TGI Friday’s? I submit that there is not. Plus they’re running a $10 Endless Appetizer promotion — for 10 bucks, you choose one of their tasty slices of pre-entree heaven, and you get to eat as much of it as you want. Seriously.
Let’s cut to the chase — I hop and skip my way to the closest establishment and order an endless supply of the Boneless Buffalo Wings, natch. My first plate arrives and the waitress tells me “As advertised, it’s $10 for all-you-can-eat of this appetizer. Let me know if you need anything else.” Here we go…
“$10? Actually, I’m going to name my own price,” I told her.
“No, you’re not.”
“Yes, I am. And if I beat the average price, I get all the apps.”
“All the apps? You want all the appetizers? Not going to happen.”
“I meant apps, as in on a phone or computer. That’s how StackSocial does it. But, yes, I want all the appetizers, too.”
“What the hell are you even talking about?”
“Oh, and 10% of the price goes to charity.”
“You can pay $10 for the endless boneless wings or we can call the police.”
“Fine, but what about the charity donation?”
“I have no control over that.”
“Why do you hate poor people?”
For some reason, she decided to leave my area after that. Strange. This was, unfortunately, another failure in the quest to name my own price anywhere I shopped.
Chipotle — burritos full of tasty, stomach-destroying injustice
My last stop on my journey was one of my favorite food chains — Chipotle. I’ve enjoyed countless meals at this fast-growing burrito hut, so, naturally, I needed to include it in this project.
Off I went to my local Chipot-land, shuffling into line before ordering a steak burrito — none of that salad or bowl BS for me. After building my ‘rito, I stepped in front of the cashier to exchange my hard-earned currency for the massive mound of Mexican munchies soon to travel down my gullet.
“That’ll be $9.13.”
“Actually, I’ll be naming my own price.”
“Um, what?”
“You heard me. I’ll be paying what I want for my meal.”
“No, you won’t. Chipotle prices aren’t up for negotiation.”
Shazbot. Looks like I’m about to have another unpleasant encounter with price fascism.
“The ‘name your own price’ model is great. I get to pay what I want, and you guys sell a ton of burritos because customers are happier and more likely to buy. StackSocial does it.”
“That doesn’t make sense for burritos.”
“You don’t make sense for burritos.”
“That doesn’t even make sense.”
“You don’t even make sense.”
“Are we seriously doing this right now?”
At this point, the manager took notice and came over.
“Sir, what the fug is going on over here?” she asked, pointedly.
“Your cashier won’t let me name my own price like StackSocial does.”
“Well, StackSocial sounds fantastic, but we can’t do that with our burritos.”
“StackSocial is indeed fantastic. Way better than this absolute travesty of an eatery.”
“Sir, that’s completely ridiculous.”
“Semantics.”
“OK, sir. Please leave and don’t come back.”
What is the takeaway from all of this? Most places just aren’t as generous as StackSocial, where we always have great “Name Your Own Price” deals to give you what you need at a price you decide yourself. Don’t waste your time elsewhere; grab the NYOP Must-Have Mac Bundle while you can:
Be First to Comment